Sunday, November 7, 2010
Trip to K-Mart (the K stands for Krazy)
In an effort to preserve my sanity, my saintly grandmother graciously watches Avery for one morning a week. Today was that morning. After I conveniently slept through my doctor’s appointment (relying on your toddler to wake you up before 8am never works, despite the fact that she normally wakes up at 7:30am every. single. morning.), I hurriedly drove Avery over to “Gamma’s house” for their weekly date.
Avery LOVES going to Gramma’s house, and couldn’t get me out of there any faster. I almost miss the days when she used to cry after I left; it’s been months since my departure has brought about a single tear. I quickly found myself with an empty carseat, a full tank of gas, and nowhere to go.
It’s like I’ve completely forgotten how not to be a mom. I didn’t want to go back to my empty house and sit around with my cats (I’m trying my best to convince Andrew I won’t end up on an episode of Animal Hoarders, which coincidentally is a terrific show). So I racked my brain to come up with an urgent errand to run that didn’t involve chasing a crazed toddler through Target. That’s when I remembered that Avery no longer wears pants. I don’t mean like she doesn’t wear pants because she insists on being naked all the time (which is also true), I mean she refuses to wear anything that’s not a dress. I have no idea where she got this behavior, because I haven’t worn a dress since my cousin’s wedding in April 2009, and I ended up losing that dress later that night (a story for another time).
The problem is, most of Avery’s dresses are sundresses, and it’s November. In Cleveland. It could literally start snowing at any minute (yes, I know I vowed to stop using the word “literally,” shut up).
Long story short, I spent the next hour in K-Mart searching for warm-looking tights. I didn’t find any. What I did find instead, is that K-Mart is a hub for all kinds of crazy. Just straight-up padded-walls, frontal-lobotomy crazy.
This is what I overheard in the linens aisle: “And you know me, my cleavage is always fling-flangin’ around anyway, so what’s the use?” I, predictably, turned around to see what lovely angel of a human being would yell that at a crowded store at 9 in the morning.
Since I know you’re all wondering, this lady’s cleavage was not the kind that anyone would want to see flingin’ or flangin’, outside of a circus. Let’s just say she has to lift them up in order to buckle her pants. Not that her pants had any sort of buckle, zipper, or drawstring. In fact, I think they were hospital pajamas. Which she probably still has from when she escaped from the mental institution in the 80s (The 80s also being the last time this person has bathed). What’s worse is that she shouted this not to a gal pal, but to her elderly, crippled mother, who was shuffling around in detached apathy. Meaning she probably hears similar proclamations about 87 times a day.
That’s when I realized that I’m no different than that mother, totally unalarmed by her daughter’s insanity. In fact, I’m not sure when Avery last bathed either. (We go in phases of loving the bath and hating the bath. This week, we hate the bath).
Let’s just hope that by the time Avery has cleavage, she won’t be yelling about it as I defeatedly follow her around K-Mart.
My Baby, The Prankster
I just got back from my 20 week ultrasound scan. (I'm five months today, woohoo!)
In addition to wanting to know that the baby is developing on target anatomically, we really wanted to get an idea of the baby's sex. This baby is darn prankster.
For 45 minutes, the baby would not open their legs to give us a peek. The tech could not tell for sure whether we're having a boy or girl but she's leaning more towards the baby being a girl because she couldn't detect any sign of a little nub peeking between the legs. But she stressed that she is really guessing based on what she saw, which isn't a lot.
I don't know if my doctor will order another scan but if she doesn't we will never know until birth. What a practical joker. All through the night he/she constantly kicks and turns and somersaults all over my stomach but when it comes time to give mommy a clue it stays still. Ugh!
Oh baby, you are just like your dad. All about the jokes. 
During your ultrasound did you have trouble finding out the sex of the baby?
If God was Truly Loving, He'd Let Everyone Into Heaven
Christians would agree that the above statement is wrong, so would most Muslims and Jews, from what I understand of their religions, which admittedly, is limited. Yet, yesterday I had a very interesting talk with a friend in seminary. He finds it difficult to reconcile these ideas of God being loving and accepting, and at the same time condemning people to Hell because they did not choose Him - to be fair this friend also does not believe in Hell.
The most worrying thing for me about this is that this particular friend calls himself a Christian, and as such believes he is going to heaven. This is more worrisome to me than someone who isn't a Christian, because they know they aren't going to what we would refer to as Heaven, and they are fine with that, in fact they don't want to be there.
As another friend said, Matthew 7:21, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven," clearly says that not even all those who call Jesus "Lord" will be going into heaven - how can someone say everyone will be going to heaven, and have any biblical support for such a belief? My friend, a former athiest, continued to say that it is not loving of a God at all to say "well you hate me, rejected me and want nothing to do to me, but now you're going to have to spend all of eternity with me." To her, such a God would ultimately be sadistic.
The interesting thing is that these two friends of mine are operating with different assumptions. My seminary friend is assuming that if there is a heaven, for how can there be a heaven if no hell, then everyone would want to be there, and that a loving God would allow everyone in. Whereas my former atheist friend is operating with the belief that if God was truly loving, He would allow her the choice, which He did, and if she chose to spend time with Him, then good for her, but if she chose not to spend time with Him then good for her as well. A loving God would allow her that choice, and not force her to change it.
Do you believe there is a heaven? Would you want to even be there? Do you think that everyone will be going to heaven, regardless of their beliefs?
A Little Thought: Be Blessed, Not Just Lucky
I recently got into a relationship with this really cute girl. And though I could tell you how it happened, I won't do it now. What I actually thought was important enough to share with all of you is one of the many things I've learned from my girlfriend in the short time we have been together. I know that all I have can be attributed to God, that I'm nothing without him, but my language doesn't always reflect that.
She always corrects me when I declare that I am lucky. She reminds me that I'm not simply lucky - I'm blessed.
Like I said, my language doesn't always reflect God's presence in my life. It's as if I'm saying that the good things in my life were from random chance and circumstance.
After being corrected a couple of times, the why behind the correction began to bug me. I began to make a conscious effort to have all of my being reflect God - and I started to make sure to say that I'm blessed. And I have been.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I've had some huge, earth-shattering experience, but I will tell you this: it is important that, in everything we do, we reflect the awesomeness that is God.
If someone who wasn't Christian heard me talking about how lucky I am, I would have lost an opportunity to be a light of Christ to the world. Little things always add up and turn into bigger things. If I go around instead saying how I'm so blessed, I'm at least pointing at God.
Everything we do should point to what Jesus has (and continues to) done in our lives. Unfortunately, I am also a human being, so I do a lot of stupid stuff that points to nothing. I have not given up hope that God is working in me and through me -- and you shouldn't either.
Do you consider yourself as being lucky or blessed? Apart from acknowledging God's blessings, how else can we demonstrate our God's work?
What Scripture Says About Heaven and Hell
By Will Green There may be Biblical evidence that a lot more people will be with God forever than be separated from God.
First of all, there is the doctrine of the age of accountability (link). This doctrine is that people who die before an age where they can make an informed decision about Jesus automatically go to heaven. This also includes people with a mental disability or some other disability that prevents them from making an informed decision about Jesus (there's 'state' as well as 'age' of accountability).
This could be broadened to include people who never hear about Jesus or who hear but not in a way that allows them to make an informed decision about Jesus (but if you say this, then there needs to be a reason why God wants us to tell people about Jesus, which is a problem for this view).
If you broadened it in this way, then most people who have ever lived will be in heaven, because until modern medicine the infant mortality rate was about 50% (source) and there have been a lot of people who have never heard the gospel.
Secondly, we must remember that after this age (which ends when Jesus returns) there is an 'age to come', where almost everyone will be Christian:
Isaiah 2:2-4: "In the last days, the mountain of the LORD's house will be the highest of all--the most important place on earth. It will be raised above the other hills, and people from all over the world will stream there to worship. People from many nations will come and say, "Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of Jacob's God. There he will teach us his ways, and we will walk in his paths." For the LORD's teaching will go out from Zion; his word will go out from Jerusalem. The LORD will mediate between nations and will settle international disputes. They will hammer their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will no longer fight against nation, nor train for war anymore."
How many people will live in this age to come? Perhaps billions.
Thirdly, the good angels are happy forever and some interpret Revelation to say that 2/3rds of the angels stayed with God (Rev 12:4). Now, if there are billions of angels, then that is a large number of people who will be happy with God forever.
But what about verses like Matthew 7:13-4?:
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
Maybe this verse is saying that it's a narrow gate to heaven for people who a) become adults that b) can make an informed decision about the gospel. That is, our group, where the decision to accept Jesus is fraught with uncertainties and difficulties not present with the other groups. It could be that our group has the lowest proportion of people in that group going to heaven (compared to people outside the age/state of accountability, people in the age to come, and angels). If this speculation is accurate, then it raises the question of why we are in this group!
Shake Off Your Guilt!
By Bonnie at Faith Barista
The Bible says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Why would we be motivated by feelings of guilt rather than grace?
Some people dream of gold paved streets and flying around like Peter Pan when it comes to enjoying heaven one day. One of the eternal amenities I’m looking forward to is living in a dust-free zone.
I was really young when I got my back pricked in a matrix like sequence. That was nothing compared to the fire that broke out on my skin in rows as the lab technician dropped bombs of allergens into each micro-pinhole. In less time it takes for a bagel to get toasted, I sported a painful set of reddened dots that made me walk around like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
That’s how feelings of guilt make me feel.
Guilty feelings are free agents that float around like dust. They are hard to avoid over extended periods. Just like dust appears from nowhere but can be found anywhere, feeling bad about something I did, didn’t do or did wrong easily clings to my conscience.
I beat myself up.
I replay my mistakes.
I waste enormous amounts of energy re-enacting how I could have done it differently.
I feel bad. I feel that I am bad.
I try to shake off those feelings of guilt, but they can ferociously settle right back. No matter how hard I try.
That is my problem with feeling guilty — I try to get rid of them.
Why It’s Hard To Let Go of Guilt
One of the reasons it’s hard to let go of our guilty feelings is that it feels safe. We are our own boss and we can solve our own guilt. We can pay for our mistakes or live with them and owe nothing to no one.
We’re used to dealing with guilt the same way we handled our imperfections before we met God:
- Hide or pretend they didn’t bother us.
- Used fear or punishment to motivate our corrective actions or behaviors.
- Rebel against anyone or anything that tried to control us.
- Get depressed, live with regret.
We may be motivated by guilty feelings out of habit, as a learned response and also as a preferred choice.
Beautiful and Hard GraceAs Christians, we changed. We received a new nature. We became loved, someone Jesus paid for our wrongs with His sacrifice. We are forgiven. Our new life motivates us to live under continual grace.
Grace is beautiful and free, but it is hard for us independent-prone people to practice. It’s even harder to believe something so unconditional and lavish would actually endure and not go away. It is difficult to live under grace because it means we can no longer make-up for our mistakes. God calls us to simply accept His forgiveness and live in gratitude to Him.
Giving thanks requires more faith than merely speaking this phrase during the month of November.
Giving thanks means I have to let go of trying to fix the past -- and start focusing on the changes God wants me to make in the future.
Being thankful calls me to live as beloved and favored child through my Heavenly Father’s eyes -- rather than holding an angry or frustrated attitude towards my imperfections.
Gratitude stops being used as generic church lingo and becomes a heartfelt, confident prayer — as I stop trying to meet other people’s standards and start responding to God’s love and acceptance.
Guilty Feelings Do Not Come From GodBefore we belonged to God, the Holy Spirit was used to convict us of sin (John 16:7-17). But, once the Holy Spirit started living inside of us, Jesus said it was given to us as a gift–
– As a Helper.
“I will send the Helper to you… When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth.” John 16:7-17
– To lead us in the truth and freedom from the Law (not accuse us of our wrongs). John 16:14, Gal 5:16
“It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Therefore.. do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery.” Gal. 1:1,16-18
– Helps us in our weakness and prays for us when we can’t (who does not condemn us or punish us).
“…the Holy Spirit helps our weaknesss.. the Spirit Himself interceeds for us with groanings too deep for words. He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Rom.8:16, 26, 27
Just as dust is a continual allergen, feelings of guilt can threaten our well-being. The truth is that guilt doesn’t have a place in heaven. Grace, on the other hand, lives on into eternity. It’s mind-boggling we are given a choice to choose. It is an inspiring and motivating gift we’re given to open everyday. Or not.
“Yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry,
but because your sorrow led you to repentance.
For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret,
but worldly sorrow brings death.”
The Apostle Paul, 2 Corinthians 7:9-11
What has encouraged you to shake off feelings of guilt? What do you think causes us to operate out of guilt rather than grace?
Image Source
Thursday, November 4, 2010
And the Two Shall Become One
By Sharon at SheWorships
My first year of marriage was a confusing one as I figured out what it meant to be “one” with my new husband. Contrary to my expectations, reciting my vows and changing my last name did not signal some new, inner transformation in how I felt about my husband. The unity declared over us on our wedding day was a spiritual reality that I would have to live into, and it didn’t all happen automatically.
Since that first day of marriage, God has knit our hearts together more and more, and it has been amazing to experience a marriage that is quite honestly better every day than the one before it. We are a team and he is my best friend. But as I have reflected on the past year and what contributed to my grappling with marital unity, there’s a part of me that wonders if some of it is due, in part, to the way Christians talk about marriage.
For instance, I cannot remember hearing a sermon series or reading a book in the last several years that dealt with marriage without emphasizing the huge differences between men and women. In fact, there was an entire class built into my Preparing for Marriage curriculum at my church that was devoted to this topic.
Of course, there is a good reason for it–husbands and wives are different, not only according to gender lines but also according to individual personalities. And sometimes those differences can create barriers if we don’t understand them. A healthy discussion of differences can actually be a means for putting those differences aside.
However, I’m afraid the conversation has become a bit lop-sided. Although there is a lot of teaching about male and female differences, there is not a lot of helpful information about what it means to be one. Yes, we’re different, but marriage is about the fusing of two separate entities into a glorious, new creation, not fixating on that which separates us.
The reason this concerns me is that our very nature is one of individualism and selfishness. So easily I fall into discussions about how Ike “just doesn’t understand” my female side, such as why I like to sit and have long conversations with my friends without doing anything else, or why I ask him so many questions about how his friends are doing. It’s so tempting for women to bond over the silly or “stupid” things that their husbands do and laugh about how different men are from women.
But whenever I play that game, I not only feel like it doesn’t give Ike a fair shake, but that I belittle my marriage just a touch in the process. Whenever I focus on how different we are, I feel less connected to my husband.
Which is why I propose that we think more carefully about this approach to marriage education. As I mentioned, the topic of male-female differences can be a helpful tool in teaching spouses how to better understand and love one another, but it is does not constitute a robust teaching on marital union. As humans, it is our nature to fight the intimacy and connectedness that is a vital part of marriage, so we need to equip couples with the knowledge and skills to strengthen their marriages and be spiritually united with one another.
With that in mind, the most helpful analogy we can look to is that of our own salvation. Rather than focus on our differences, Christ died for his bride, the church, and brought her into perfect union with himself. And rather than focus on the difference of our inadequacy and sin before God, the church loves and surrenders to her bridegroom, Christ. These two entities become one through mutual commitment and sacrifice, but the union does not end there. It is not a stagnant unity that simply fuses together once and for all, and then the effort is done. In Christian salvation our unity with God through Christ grows ever deeper as we actively pursue God and He actively pursues us.
Occasionally, the vast difference between us can cause discouragement or shame on the part of the Christian, but we must not focus on that. We must press on in our love for God, knowing He is always waiting to embrace us. And as we do, we are transformed more and more into conformity with Him. Our spiritual unity becomes increasingly reflected in our lives.
I find that to be a helpful image with which married couples might start. If my marriage is to reflect my spiritual unity with my husband, it is something I must be deliberate about and pursue with diligence, in much the same way I pursue Christ. And as I do, I delight more and more to think about the powerful grace that unites me and my husband, namely Christ, instead of being defined by that which divides us.
Public Displays of Affection in Church: Where Do You Draw the Line?
I often see couples at service, which is fantastic! But at times it can be a bit distracting. I understand they're together and all, but do they have to be so cuddly? Holding hands and all is fine, sure, but leaning on each other and stuff? It seems a bit distracting from the service for me and them. Am I being too old-fashioned here?
What are your thoughts on PDA in church? Where do you draw the line?
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